Warm snow

-->

-     Woman, Go to bed!!!!

yawning she rubbed her eyes. Whatever was  left of her mascara and eyeliner made her look like a panda. she raised her head and said to his shadow : "a couch is better than a bed. Everybody knows that. "

She looked a mess he thought to himself, sighing. The problem is he liked it when she looked like a mess. 

-a couch is made for sitting, a bed is made for sleeping… oh ! no no no you are not going to google « couch » and « bed » we have had this discussion before!

-       But, but … bedrooms are boring. They are so …final. So closed. And the dressings remind me of coffins… Also i hate mirrors…

-       Great,  he slapped his thigh,  is there anything you like about our bedroom ?

She looked at him and smiled : « you ».  and before he could smile back she said : « but I like you better here, you look cuter in the yellow light . »

-       fine …suit yourself I am going to bed

-       now ???? it’s still early !

-       i am tired and have a long day tomororow .

-       Are we having sex ?

He rolled his eyes …

- So no sex and no couch… I think we need to discuss our future together , she joked.

She took her blanket fished for her slippers and as usual could not find them and then hopped behind him towards the bedroom. she didnt like beds… but she loved sleeping next to him. Oh crap she still had to wash her face and change her bra… she wanted to be there when he started drifting away she enjoyed the battle he waged against his very busy mind and his tired body … he rarely relaxed. He was waiting for her. She hurried she wanted to have a fight about keeping the lights on… He got her a collection of poems for her birthday. he said he liked that she liked cheap gifts. but she knew he asked her friends about her favorite writers... 

-are you happy ? 

his question was so sudden it felt like a punch.

- hein ?

- are you happy ? with our life together are you happy ?

she knew this look… he was serious.  he looked at her like this when she hurt him for the first time. It nearly broke her heart. 

All lightness left her tired body and she searched his eyes alert. 

-       What is wrong, papi…( she made fun of the way he walked like old men sometimes and started calling him papi) something is wrong. 

-       I just want to know if you are happy

-       Why ? Are you not happy ?

-       I am. but … you … you never seem …settled. I want to know if you are happy

-       You want to know how I feel ?

-       Yes

Long silence. This was her papi and he clearly was troubled. Was she happy ? sometimes yes…

-       No, I don’t feel happy all the time.

He looked upset. She nearly cried. 

-       But I don’t want to feel happy all the time. I want to feel challenged, and needed and needy and upset and happy and hopeful and sad and creative most of all…

-       But, are you satisfied with our life together ?

-       What do you think ?

-…

Oh my God, this was a disaster. He really did not know …

She smiled : « papi… I chose you » palm on her chest she added :  « I am content. »

He kept looking at her face… she was too afraid to touch him at this point…

-       I mean you are a selfish pompous ass but then I let you be my selfish pompous ass  and Stop looking at me like this… I dont want to cry. then my nose will drip and you will think am a mess…

At that He laughed : you are a mess…

-        Shut up

-        You shut up

-       I’’ keep the lights on all night

-       I’ ll kick you out of bed

-       I’ll sleep on the couch

-       I’ll burn the couch

-       Ha !You won’t its expensive…

-       You crazy woman I can see this twinkle in your eye, you want me to burn the couch

-       no I want you to be sometimes as crazy as I am… it’s like holding a warm snowball in my hand

-       you are crazy

-       Yep but you Love me

-       Do I ?

-       Papi … bonne nuit.