The Offer

She texted him.

He answered.

They met for coffee.

She had her red sweater on and a double hair bun. He looked the same. A bit plumper maybe

-“We have known each other for 10 years today”, He said pulling a chair for himself, smilingly raising his hand as the waiter approached.

- Really? Ten years?

He seemed disappointed that she did not remember. So he feigned confusion:

- I think… yes.  

She had trouble caring about time and distance. He did not know that.

He had gotten her gifts, like he used to. She brought him nothing. She thought about it but decided against the gesture.

She said so. He said it was fine gave her a MontBlanc stylo. She refused

-       I can’t. This is too much

-       You can. I am making good money now, let us enjoy.

-       Thank you but no. The book is great though.

-       “We look good together”,  he said looking at people around them as if seeing through their eyes. “You have changed. you are calmer, it suits you and red suits you.”

-       Thank you. I am just tired.

-       Calmer, more mature. Why tired?

-       Tell me about your book.

-       Finished (his joy was palpable) It took me ages and I put on so much weight as you can see but I did it.

She smiled, remembering how often he used to talk about his book.

- Really happy for you …and I confess a bit jealous. I haven’t written in ages”

-       You will get back to it. I can help you.

She stopped listening to him, the smoke of his cigarette was weaving flowers between the branches of the tree they were sitting under. She had stopped smoking and sometimes she missed the magic of it, an excuse for public heavy breathing.

-        I am looking for a wife now.

That brought her back to reality and she laughed:  “a wife and a car?”

-       yes, he said ,and a car!

She laughed again.

-       I am not being funny- he was smiling though- I wonder how would people in here react if I went ahead and kissed you in the middle of this silly café.

-       …

-       You know no one gets you like I do. You want books, I have all the books you need. You want space to paint… you can have your own space in my house, What else would you need.

-       …

-       Don’t tell me you still expect Love.  It does not exist. At my age I know believe me. No one is irreplaceable. Love lasts up to 1000 copulations. And then boredom… fini

-       You always thought you had all the answers, yet here you are … alone. People have been writing about, trying to understand, dreaming of, praying for Love for millennia yet you still think you can say it’s just a thousand shags.

she thought of saying more but chose to laugh instead. That’s when she missed cigarettes most… filling awkward silences. 

He sipped his coffee. “What are you reading these days?”

-Clouds mainly… I am painting and some philosophy (the change of topic was welcomed)

- You are beautiful… you hide it well though

- Thank you… I guess. what brought the topic of my beauty or lack thereof up? Marriage ?

- no just an observation, the light on your face…  Marry me

- No thank you. I am looking for more.

- There is nothing more.

-Then I am looking for nothing… or everything. Also you do not deserve me.

- Damn it. Who said I should deserve you.

- I did. I do. You don’t deserve me.

- is it because I left or the affair ?... you were not there you know… you were never there.

 - It is because you are asking this question and blaming me

- You changed

- Not really… but by the time I recovered my voice you had left, so you never got to hear what I had to say. 

She shrugged.

- You know in this country you will not find a lot of people you can talk to. No one likes a woman who writes and reads and if they forgive you this they will never forgive your lack of interest in appearances and your excessive pride. You will not even find anyone to talk to. 

- Then I shall learn to keep silent.

He sighed…

 -Finding Love and Silence, you against the world

- Finding Love in Silence, The World and I .